Chapter 7: Shame and Silence: Why Victims Don't Speak Out

The following scenario is an educational example based on common fraud patterns. The characters and events are for illustrative purposes only.

In many cases, seeking legal counsel begins with a hesitant knock on the door, almost inaudible. A person entering for a consultation may be the embodiment of respectability: well-dressed, with a gaze that projects the natural authority of someone who has managed large organizations in their life. Take, for example, Aharon (a pseudonym), a retired educator, a principal of an educational institution who mentored generations of students. In such a scenario, despite his impressive background, he may sit with slumped shoulders and trembling hands.

In this educational scenario, the person does not speak immediately. He may stare at the walls, searching for an answer to a question not yet asked. After long minutes of silence, he may barely whisper about the profound sense of shame, the feeling that his entire value system has collapsed following the fraud, and the heavy fear of the moment his family discovers what has occurred.

This is the core moment of this chapter: the silence. In these cases, the victim does not suffer only from a heavy financial loss – they suffer from an internal "social death." Throughout years of professional work, I have encountered diverse cases: insurance scams, land fraud, and complex Ponzi schemes. Yet, often, the psychological barrier of shame is the most complex. Shame is perceived as an effective tool in the digital scammer's arsenal. It is the final layer of the fraud, designed to ensure that the crime is not reported, that the money is not recovered, and that the scammer can continue to the next victim without interference.

The following scenario is an educational example based on common fraud patterns. The characters and events are for illustrative purposes only.

Aharon's Story: The Silent Trap of the "Expert" (Educational Scenario)

Everything can begin with an innocent LinkedIn message from a profile that looks professional and reliable, offering an opportunity to support international ventures. The profile may display a person with an impressive background at global companies, projecting prestige.

A person feeling the need for self-realization after retirement may feel flattered. Professional discourse sometimes quickly drifts into more personal conversations, including a "one-time opportunity" to invest in avenues that seem exclusive and closed only to "visionaries."

Initially, the victim may act cautiously and invest a small amount. When the application shows quick profits and an initial withdrawal of profit is enabled, confidence is built. This is the classic "bait" that causes the victim to feel sharp and informed, leading them to transfer significantly larger amounts, sometimes their entire personal savings.

The breaking point comes when the victim requests to withdraw a significant amount. Then, excuses arise about a "regulatory tax" or "release fees" that must be paid in advance. After the additional payments, the scammer disappears, the profiles are deleted, and the balance in the application resets to zero.

In such cases, the victim might isolate themselves for months, avoid eating, and make excuses for their health and mental state. The shame can paralyze them, especially if they are a person of former status and authority, who asks themselves how they fell into such a trap. This silence can hurt more than the loss of money itself.

The Psychology of Silence: Why is Shame Stronger Than Logic?

In analyzing the reasons why fraud victims are not quick to complain, it appears that fraud is sometimes a double injury: once to the pocket, and twice to the self-perception. The victim may experience severe "cognitive dissonance" between their self-image as an intelligent person and the reality in which they fell for a manipulation.

The shame stems from several key sources:

1. Social Stigma: "The Guilty Victim"

In modern culture, there is sometimes a tendency to blame the victim. Statements like "That would never happen to me" serve as a defense mechanism for the environment but cause the victim to fear judgment and prefer to maintain their image at the cost of financial loss.

2. Loss of Autonomy and Fear of Losing Independence

For elderly victims, shame is sometimes accompanied by fear that discovery of the case will lead to the conclusion that they are no longer fit to manage their affairs or will lead to a reduction of their independence by family members. Silence is an attempt to preserve freedom and status.

3. "Sunk Cost" and the Desire for Self-Correction

There are victims who try to "fix" the situation themselves before it is discovered, out of a belief that an additional payment will solve the problem. This is a stage where the financial damage can grow significantly.

The Legal Aspect of Silence: Consequences of Waiting

Professionally, the silence of the victim can constitute an obstacle in the way of examining options for recovering funds. The more time that passes from the moment the fraud is discovered until reporting it to the authorities and the financial institutions, the more the chances for effective action may diminish.

The Payment Services Law, 2019, establishes a timeframe for reporting unauthorized payment transactions. Section 19 of the law states that the customer must notify the clearing house or the issuer of an unauthorized payment transaction as soon as possible. In circumstances of fraud, the time of reporting may have great significance.

When there is a significant delay in reporting due to shame, the financial institution may raise claims of negligence, arguing that if the report had been made earlier, part of the damage could have been prevented. The silence may be used by financial institutions in an attempt to reduce their liability.

Additionally, in certain operations like RTGS transfers or crypto transfers, the window of opportunity to perform reversal actions or freeze accounts is extremely short. Scammers exploit the delay to move the funds through a chain of accounts, making them difficult to trace.

Breaking the Cycle of Silence: Professional Aspects

A change in the victim's situation may occur the moment they understand that this is planned criminal activity using complex psychological tools. Understanding the scammer's patterns of operation may assist in reducing the feeling of self-blame.

To cope, the following steps can be considered:

1. Acknowledging Reality

It is important to understand that digital fraud is a crime based on social engineering and manipulation, and there is not necessarily a connection between a person's intelligence level and the likelihood of falling victim to a well-planned attack.

2. Professional Consultation

Consulting with professionals can serve as a "first station," allowing the creation of a safe space to clarify facts without emotional judgment. Building an action plan can make it easier for the victim when they decide to share the situation with their family, equipped with information and possible courses of action.

3. Concentrating Data and Evidence

Collecting screenshots, documentation of conversations, and transfer confirmations is an important step. This action assists in moving to a more objective view of the event as part of the preparation for legal activity or contacting the authorities.

The Responsibility of Financial Institutions in the Eyes of the Law

In examining fraud cases, the question arises regarding the duties of trust and care of the bank toward a customer, even when the customer acted under the influence of the scammer's manipulation.

A general analysis of legal options shows that financial institutions have monitoring systems that should identify unusual activity patterns. In cases where transfers are made in significant amounts that deviate from the customer's profile, it is possible to examine whether the institution acted in accordance with its duties.

However, in scenarios where the victim is instructed by the scammer to provide false explanations to the bank due to shame or secrecy, this may affect the division of liability between the parties. The financial institution may claim it was misled by the customer.

Nevertheless, the trend reflected in professional guidelines, such as the Proper Banking Management directives of the Bank of Israel, imposes deeper inquiry duties on financial institutions, especially in unusual transactions. The victim's silence is indeed an obstacle, but there are cases where the responsibility of the institution can be examined despite the delay in reporting.

Conclusion

In cases where the burden of the secret is removed, one can begin to act in an orderly manner. The chance of recovering funds depends on the specific circumstances of each case, but breaking the silence is usually the first necessary step.

Understanding that the shame serves the interests of the perpetrator may assist victims in exiting isolation and beginning to act to exhaust their rights. The moment communication is established with professional entities, the legal and practical tools available to the victim can be examined.